My last conv with my Brother.

I got woken by my alarm, with anxiety.

I thought I was crying. I touched my cheeks & they were dry. The feeling was so real.

Immediately I remembered my dream.

I dreamt of Korkor.

In my weird dream, I was telling him about something my helper did (IRL), in relation to some senseless stuff that happened in the dream.

He asked, when did that incident happen?

I said, a week ago (3 weeks ago IRL).

Then i started crying in the dream, because he was just there, and I didn't talk to him for a week.

Then my alarm woke me up. I thought of the dream.

And immediately started crying buckets.

Its been 3 years since I last talked to Kor.

The last 2-way conversation, was the day before he left.

I told him his books sold! We earn $xxxx from the sales.

He gave me a thumbs up. Then his leg fell of the bed, I laughed "aiyo Kor, your leg drop!" And rushed over to adjust him.

He smiled.

My timeline is blurry, but I'll rmb that as our last 'chat'... though as he could muster was the energy to give me a 👍 & a smile.

I wonder what he would say about our new helper, and what he would say to Daddy. How Kor would 'fit' into our new life story. How things would be different will him around. I forgot how much I enjoyed talking to Kor. Just talking, over a meal... or on a car drive. He always had something good to say.

Dear Korkor,

I hope you are well wherever you are.

You are not forgetten.

Never will.