We receive, we give.
"Why do i have to suffer while you enjoy?!?"
That was my response to his request/instruction to not drink at the pub, just so that I can drive him home. I complained to Tubby in the car. He just picked me up from my K session with Auch & Amanda.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SUFFER?!?!"
I complained that I had to miss out the fun of party, and give up my sleep, just so he could drink with his friends. He didn't see my point. And I got lazy to explain further.
After three hours of small talks and (some) fake smiles to his friends and strangers, we were well on my way home. (but secretly, I was very happy to be there. I like the drinks, the ambiance, the company... just not liking the zombie-ness at work the next day)
Instead of feeling upset I gave up my sleep, I secretly felt happy he brought me along to his gatherings, and pleased I was being useful as a driver... and even more happy that he entrust his precious car in my hands.
The evening after, following the brunch he missed cause he couldn't get out of bed from all the drinking; I casually tried my luck by asking if he would drive my sis and her boyf to Ikea to get some stuff for home. I said it's okay if he didn't want to, and that Im just checking before I suggest it to them.
He agreed.
This night, he repaid my "suffering" with three hours of his time. Probably the same level of suffer I sat through last night.
I know well it wasn't something he liked to do. I was counting the minutes before he snapped. But he didn't.
I pushed my luck further by asking him to accompany (i.e. drive) us to shop for grocery & dinner for our parents. He didn't complain, nor did he show any signs of displeasure.
I thanked him once we got home.
He replied that "It’s what panda does!"
During my shower, it suddenly dawned on me this is what a relationship is. Comprising and giving in. Willingness to incorporate each other's lifestyles.
With time, we learn our partner's habits, life choices, thinking. And with each giving, we take something in return. Not complaining, not taking for granted.