Measure of success in life
So over dinner with Sq and her hubby Sw, he asked,
How would you measure success in life?
It was a heavy question in the middle of an impromptu dinner with the couple. It was probably the first time the three of us ate together. It was only cause Sw needed to get something from me for work. And dinner tonight seem to be the most convenient option.
His happiness index and job satisfaction was at its low today, urging him to question himself if he is happy... or successful. (Or did we/I just unknowingly relate to Happiness = Success?) 😄
The politically correct answer was that everyone's definition of success was different, and that everyone wanted different things out of life.
All three of us threw the some answers. Then Sw shared that he was having lunch at White Sands with his colleague this afternoon, and he envied those who didn't have to work on Saturdays. The wife conveniently heave a sigh, as if we didn't already know she minds a lot that he works on Saturdays.
I can't help but relate, for I too, work on Saturdays.
Then he so kindly mentioned about Kor. That Kor's life might not be long, but if he had led a good life, he was successful.
He did! In Kor's words,
"My life not bad lah. I had Black Room, then the eBay store... and 5 books.
Family trips. I think it's quite a good life."
That was my probably the line that comforted me most. It remained so clearly in my head, his voice... in the middle of our living room.
He might only be 41 years. But he did what he wanted.
On a separate conversation, he said that he regretted not saving money for investments. He spent whatever he had. He spent on family trips... and probably things he like. He laughed it off, saying "also good la. At least spent time with time the family. Everyone enjoy. Got money now also no energy to spend..."
The irony. Or is it just how fate had everything planned out.
We concluded that Kor was successful in his lifetime.
We coherently agreed that money was not a measure of happiness. Speaking of their relatives who were living the high life but were not able to have kids even though they really wanted to.
Meaning... successful at work, but not successful at personal life??
Having deep thoughts as I'm taking a night walk in my estate. With my Playlist playing "are you happy now, are you happy now...."
My definition of success in life (in general), is simple...
If I die tomorrow, would I leave with regrets?
Having (allow me to loosely use this word) fought alongside Kor against his cancer, I was very clear how fragile life is.
I feel, my heart is full now.
If I were to die tomorrow, I should have the right to be selfish and think of myself... and if I think of myself, my heart is full. I am happy.
Relationship wise, I have good relationship with family and friends. I have super good bond with my siblings. We spent good times together. I may not be around 24/7, but in my definition of a family member, I played my role best I could.
Work wise I survived so much longer in a job that started with a "try first ah. I don't know if I can a not". For one, I know for a fact that no one, with my education level, would be able to survive this job position.
Love wise, I've been attached for most of my life. And after every relationship, should the chance arise, they would tell me how I was the girl they loved most. I'm no saint, but it just meant I played my role as a Girlfriend as well as I could.
I may be officially single, but if I'm dying tomorrow, it's all good that I'm not married and have no kids.
I have no regrets for every life choices I made in general. Those with regrets, I probably didn't care that much about, or I didn't have a better choice that would make me happier.
I mean, I could have turned out to be a murder and or commit some crime and spend my days in a corner of a jail cell regarding my crime and because of that I couldn't spend time with my family and friends.
The funny thing, the only thing that i 放不下 is my ultra messy filing system on my office's computer, and I don't think any one would be able to understand, or even find anything.
On the side note, that just meant that my unhappiness in life is from the people around me. Hmm, is that why Kor is happy?
I mean, I or most of us, try to live up to the expectations of people around us. And then be unhappy when we are unable to perform the way they want us too.
Oh dear. My thought is going too far from the original question.
At the end of the day, what really mattered?
I don't think I know.
Edit/ omg. I thought of a regret... like something I really want and never got to do (yet)... travelling with Tubby! Hmm, is my regret very lame.