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PMS, I hope.

I made a mental Dayre-draft and I started crying while driving. Wtf. 👇 My draft went like this....

Recently, my team in office kept talking about their departed pets. I can't help but thought of my departed Grandma. Of cus shes not a pet, shes much more. Then I thought of Tubby for he recently lost his closest cousin due to an accident. I realised, I was helpless in providing any comfort. It could be becus my pain from losing Mama was still fresh, I knew the pain. There were no words that wld make his pain go away. I guess that's how he felt when Mama passed away, that's why he kept away

Then i started thinking of Mommy. Who is still in hospital. It's been a week. It must have been terrible to have to lay in bed for a whole week with needles and tube going in and out of your body. Even Mommy who usually could tolerate any pain, was frowning from the jabs. - end of mental draft - Cus i reached my destination. Which was actually just a 5 min drive from home. 🚗 🏡

00:24 • any overwhelming wave of sadness just came over me... Idk is it cus there's no more food, and I've been driving ard like a crazy woman from one closed coffee shop another every night for the past week just to get dinner for dad. Cus Mommy is still hospitalised and she usually gets dinner for us. I would very much settle for instant noodles. But dad swears against instant noodles. Somehow the thought got linked to how my whole life is just revolving ard other people.

I think it's the same for everyone?

Like every thing we do is just to make some one happy. Like we don't have a choice. Like its just for the sake of money, for happiness of others, for food, for survival. Whatever happened to #YOLO? To living your dreams? To be happy? Every one just expects you to be there, but when u need them, they are never there. Cus they wld prob think that some one else would be... namely family or a other half. Yet, many times u can't compare or complain... cus the person don't have to be??

Or maybe it's just stress from the barking deadlines and piling workload, in a job that I'm not sure I'm enjoying any more. Or maybe it's just PMS.

Can I just retire in a farm? I'll grow veggies to sell... I'm willing. 🍒🍓🍐🍑🍈🍅🍄🍏🍆🍇


xoxo,

Chelsea

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